After 4 weight checks proving weight gain I was eager and ready to get us home. I missed Evan, my bed, our dog Oliver, home cooked meals, our church, everything about home...and I was sooooo over the hospital. It was Sunday and I was not about to begin another week here just so they could continue to weigh him. I was confident he was going to be just fine...
It took quite a bit of pestering and sarcasm to get discharged but I managed to make our point and get our wishes granted, we were going home!! They set us up with his meds, care binder, instructions, and supplies and we were on our way!
We departed from the hospital at 4pm on Sunday 10/19. It felt so strange walking out of the hospital with Titus. He was 2 weeks old already and had never breathed outside air, seen the sunset or sunrise, heard the chirps of a bird or rustling of the leaves...I was so excited for him to finally experience Gods gifts!
We packed the cars, Evan riding with Jake and Titus with me, and began the drive home. Ty made it halfway home and then busted out in a serious cry...It began at Mineola hill just past the Hermann exit so I wonder if it was the change in pressure that caused it or if he was just hungry...either way I experienced the first "oh crap, what is his heart rate, Oxygen level, respiratory rate?!?! freakout!!!" And this time, we had no monitors to check, no doctors or nurses to ask, we were on our own...I had to pull off to the side to calm him and we were still a few miles from the nearest safe exit to stop at ...what do we do?!? We can't let him keep crying but we cant sit on the side of the road either!!! I cried, prayed, and sang to Ty all the way to the Kingdom City exit. It seemed like forever and I felt so helpless. I learned quickly that things ARE going to happen that are completely out of my control and make me feel helpless. I need to focus on staying strong for him, making the best choices within my control, and then putting all my faith in God for those things out of my control. I need to completely hand Titus over to Him, pray over him, and relinquish each item of concern to Him. Otherwise, I am going to go crazy trying to manage these challenges on my own. It's not easy to do but God truly does provide a real sense of comfort in times of need if you ask for His hand. For that I am thankful.
Fortunately, once he was fed, the rest of the trip was uneventful! We were welcomed home with a warm meal by our awesome neighbors who had been watching our house while we were in St. Louis. It was 8:00pm and I hadn't even thought about dinner...thank goodness for their thoughtfulness because our fridge and cabinets were bare. It would have been peanut M&Ms, frozen veggies, and ice cream for dinner!
Psalms 34:17-19
Yes, the Lord hears the good man when he calls to Him for help, and saves him out of all his troubles. The Lord is close to those whose heart is breaking; He rescues those who are humbly sorry for their sins. The good man does not escape all troubles - he has them, too. But the Lord helps him in each and every one.....
Sweet baby feet snuggled in bed....
He is settling in nicely...
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Even a few smiles already!
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